This is it.

Gave school a miss because I guess that's all I could take it - I fall sick, again. You have no idea how much I hate my low immune system. It's like a must to go to the doctor once a year yknow.. and now it's really not the time to fall sick. I can't afford to miss any single lessons. Urge, do you feel my pain?! So mentally and physically drained. Haven't had a good rest since last week cause I was really caught up with my workload. So this is the feeling of being busy? Being tied up by work? Honestly, I've never ever felt like this before. Not even when I was taking my N levels. I remember I used to sleep at 10pm every day when there's school, but now, I can only go to bed at 12-1plus and having to wake up early the next day. I fell in a heap when millions of thoughts came running thru my mind while I was trying to get a proper rest.

"Is that all I could do?"
"Are all of these is what I really want?"
"Am I making the right choices?"
"Can I take all the commitments?"
"What if I can't cope?"
"If others are able to make it, so can I"....

What have I landed myself into.. Starting to question myself if I'm even in the right place. Up till now, I still can't believe I'm in this course. Constantly having the thought that I'll not be able to make it. It's never easy yknow... To be struggling all the times just to make sure I'm in pace with all of them, and to struggle all the way till now. I really don't know how the days ahead will be like. Will I even be able to graduate and go to university? I don't know.

At the same time, I'm really thankful for my girls for being with me all the time, always making my day in school an enjoyable one. There's never a day where we wouldn't laugh till our sides hurt. We can just randomly sing songs during the lecture and then immediately broke out into laughter. Especially vanessa, so much thanks and apologies to her hahaha always getting a scolding from me early in the morning cause of her annoyance. Really love her from the bottom of my heart even though things weren't going well for us in the past but I'm glad it was all over! :) grateful for the fact that she is still in my life now. Definitely gonna cherish her and this friendship even more.
P/s: you still suck though for always pointing middle finger in my face hahaha

That's it. Enough of my rant. Promise y'all will see a happy post soon :)