Get back up

Last week was... good and bad at the same time. I don't know what in the world am I doing. I dread going to school now because I keep getting reminded of how useless and stupid I am. I shouldn't even be here lolol my results sucks like shit honestly. I'm so disappointed, so upset and nobody could tell that I'm actually very unhappy. Yes it sucks a lot. Because in front of them, I have to put up a brave front, fake a smile and pretend that I'm alright when I'm actually not. Never expect that I would get so affected by it... I thought it will be fine after a while. I thought I could take it but deep down, I realized I can't. I still brood and weep over it at times because the fear of not being able to pass the exams and get to year 1 is taking me. After all this, I really lost all my motivation to study. The thought of me facing all these alone is scary. I really miss days when my friends could see how sad I am whenever I scored badly for my tests and encourage me by writing a note/long text to me, telling me not to give up etc. Or even just be there and not saying anything regarding the results.

Then there was this particular day when my daddy asked me if I was coping well with my studies. I hesitate for a while before answering him that everything's fine in order not to let him worry when in fact, I'm actually struggling. I really want to tell him how much I wanna give up, how much I regretted to take this course when I clearly know I suck in science. It makes me feel like a loser who can't even score well with only these few subjects.


//
On a side note, glad the week's over. It was a very much happening week.

Monday,  8/11

My retarded funny asshole gay fag [inserts any words you can think of] buddy's 17th birthday. 

He was really surprised to see us and the cupcakes so I guess surprise was a success!

He's really a nice guy although he looks a bit stupid and retarded that sometimes I can't stand his silliness. He's also very entertaining and all his jokes are funny yet not offensive.

Thanks for being such a great friend, can't imagine how school would be like without you. 

More horror movie dates to come right? ;)

FEAST! Hehe had Sakae Sushi for dinner whoooop! We were all so high that we kept ordering and ordering :p but it was all worth it ya!! NICE DINNER

Caught White House Down after that, been long since I had night movie yay! Strongly recommend you guys to watch, super nice that I almost teared because..... ya you'll know it if you watch :p

So overall it was a good day spent! No Monday Blues at all!!!

Friday, 12/11

Maki-san with my girlsssssss.

Finally carried out our plan that we've been planning since the start of the week. :D

So glad for them, they are the ones who always make school a better place to be.

^Canele's macaroons for dessert 

Saturday, 13/7

Met up with Angela after a week of not seeing her. Always my pillar of strength and support. Always the one I hold close to my heart.

 Well I can't deny that I would wonder how she's doing at times but I guess I really need to get used to the days without her.. 

Soooo, she accompanied me to see xiaogui's autograph session YAY HEHE was really excited that I even dreamt of him man ohgod. Even though I was standing at the first 3 row, I still couldn't see xiaogui clearly because OF THE GUY IN FRONT OF ME. Yeah can you see in the above picture? He's really tall urgh :<

 Aaaaaaannnnnnddddd, rreaaallly hate myself from trembling while taking shots of him when he came near to our side :( I was so excited and nervous at the same time that I couldn't take a clear shot. And it happened thrice :'(