Life's never fair.
Just what I've done to deserve all these shits from you.
Just now in the afternoon, I caught myself thinking about all the things that I do for you and all the attitudes and stuffs that I get in return from you. Then not long after, tears started to drop. Idky... I was supposed to revise for tomorrow's test but I couldn't focus at all. I sat on the sofa and stared blankly outside of the window, tears just can't seemed to stop flowing. My mind was all about you. It's not the first time, nor the second time. And I didn't know it can still hurts this much.....
It really disappoints me to see how differently you treat me as compared to others. Am I that worthless? Am I not a human too? Am I invisible in front of you that all you care is others. This really saddens me a lot. How important you're to me yet you don't feel the same way as I thought I was to you. I don't ask anything from you except just you being a lil bit fair to me. You come and go as and when you like. Just exactly what did you treat me as? I'm different from others of course, so don't ever compare with them. It's not like I want to be this. It's something that I can't choose. I don't mind doing so much for you but could you at least be a bit appreciative? Instead of being so indifferent to my doings. Okay maybe I'm just being too nosey. Maybe I shouldn't even interfere in your affairs in the first place. Maybe all the problems lies in me. Maybe I rely on you too much that you can't take it anymore. Tell me. If you want to leave. Tell me. If you have anything that you're unhappy about. Tell me. The things that you want me to know. But then again, I think I should stop being so nice lolol everyone's just taking advantage of my kindness only. Everything just makes me feel like I don't know you at all.
I thought I was going to be fine all by myself. It's okay if nobody cares. It's okay if everyone leaves. But at the end of the day, I was wrong. All I'm hoping for is to have someone who would stay in my life for good, someone who would always keep a lookout for me, someone who would protect me no matter what, someone who would lend me his/her shoulder to lean on when I'm tired with no words exchanged. I just need that someone...
Tired of catching up with you. Tired of keeping up to your pace.
All of this could've been just me being sensitive and overthink but I guess there's always a reason that leads to overthinking right? Nonetheless there's always a part of it which is true.
Sorry I just need to rant over here because I know I can't do so on twitter. At least allows me to do here, on this lil small space of mine.
// Tomorrow is a brand new day. It'll be good right? :)
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