Choice. Decision

Don't say I didn't warn you, it's gonna b a lengthy post :/

Got back my N's results yesterday. Finally, th day that we've been waiting for. I was so nervous that I didn't have any appetite to eat anything and I kept praying, hoping for th very best. Altho my friends kept assuring me that I'll do well and not to worry too much, I'll still have that fear in me each time I thought of how badly I did for some subjects. I've always been a letdown so this time, I want to do my parents proud.

And well, I made it. It was really kind of unexpected tho. I heaved a sigh of relief when I heard that we did well generally and it's better than last year. So we listened to Mdm Saudah and Mrs Tan's talk bout th pfp before Mrs Tan showed us th percentage of passes on th screen. When she was showing th NT results, Junxiang and friends were saying ' Wa scarly Kenneth's face appear on screen uh ' then th next moment, his face really appeared. Was really happy for him and almost everyone in NAs cheered for him. :D

So when it was our turn, I really didn't expect much cause I knew I wouldn't b that lucky or something but to my surprise, I heard my name being called so I looked at th screen and saw my face. I was on seventh heaven and I thought I was dreaming. Millions of thoughts came running thru my mind. I was like, me? Lim Qianyu? How can that be! I was really taken aback by it as I thought I had screwed some of th subjects up badly and I'm glad too at th same time, for I know my hard work had paid off. :) or probably, it was just pure luck. Perhaps, god heard my prayers. And I believe god has make th best decision for me.

Then, I felt down aft that, seeing almost all my friends couldn't make it for pfp because of English. I swear deep inside me, I wasn't feeling real good at all. I felt like crying for that moment, for certain people. Yknow who you are... I had a promise with somebody, we promised each other we'll make it to pfp together no matter what happens, but it seems impossible now. No words could describe how horrible I feel right now. It's a pact that we made to survive this ordeal. I don't want to b separated from her but I have no choice I guess.. She doesn't deserves this at all, so do th certain people again... And when I thought I could make it for pfp with them, it seems as tho I'm th only one who is leaving. You get that feeling urgh!?!? I really can't bear to leave my friends, especially her. She meant th most to me and I really can't imagine how life would b without her. How I'm gonna survive my poly life without her constant motivation. Yes, she's always there for me and I want to b there for her too. But I can't do th job anymore cause when I saw her leaving with someone else, I know I'm not up to it and th one she needs isn't me. So eventually someone else would take over my job but at least I know she won't b alone, for there's always someone out there who would keep a lookout for her. I believe they'll do a better job than me and would take care of her much better than I do. I really have no faith in this friendship anymore. I'm really afraid once I apply for th pfp, I would lose contact with all my friends and again, especially her, or worst, to b forgotten.
Nevertheless, I'll still hope that you'll b happy and don't worry okay, I'm here. If you ever need anyone, I'm just a text away :-)

Still, I wouldn't b who I am today if it wasn't for you guys. All those motivations, supports and assurance really kept me going and thanks for believing in me when I was on th verge of giving up. I really couldn't express how thankful I am to have you guys and my gratitude towards you because without you guys, I wouldn't have succeed at all so I really appreciate what you all have done for me. Those bittersweet memories would b etched forever in my heart, no joke. Ok probably you'll find this exaggerating and say things like 'leave school only, need so drama or not' , but that's cause you outsiders don't know what we've been thru so please keep th comments to yourself (Hah, can't believe I actually tear while typing this.)

Lastly, I can't thank th teachers enough for always sacrificing their time to give us small group coaching and making sure that we understand every single thing. Ms See is one of th best teachers, always doing sweet stuffs like writing lil notes and buying liangcha for us when we were having exams. Mr Lim and Ms Goh, always trying their best to meet us aft school to clear our doubts and they are very patience when it comes to explaining to us. Mr Tay, whenever we didn't score well for CH, he'll just say some wise words and we would then feel bad for letting him down, so for N's, I got an A1 and I really wanna thank him alot for marking and returning our scripts asap when we passed him our practice works. Also, Mr Pang for making every lessons so interesting for us to learn and I really want to thank you for sharing your food with us when it comes to intensive MT :p As for D&T, thanks Mr Yap for controlling his temper HAHAHA as in, he used to b so fierce and would scold us every now and then but this year, he didn't and even joked with us instead. Not to forget, Mr Rashid, Mr Ibrahim, Mr Ten and Mr Lee for helping me in my artefact HAHAHAA I don't know how my artefact would look like without you guys! -bow-

To end this post, I wish my friends th very best in sec 5, it's gonna b a tough year but remember, tough time don't last, tough people do. No pain, no gain. So for now, I've to think carefully which course, which school I'm going to. And last but not least, I'm glad that I got th same points as my bro altho he took O's. :)