What are words

What's th worst feeling on earth? 
It's when you don't know you're th one who's causing unhappiness and sufferings to people. 

I tried countless of times. I told myself to stay strong, convinced myself that I am a strong girl. But each time I cry, I lose th battle. Remember I used to b a cheerful girl, really. I don't cry easily and you could say I'm th world most happiest girl on earth. I just have to worry about schoolwork only. Nothing else, not even worrying about my appearance. But when I was in Sec 2, everything changed. That's when my tears became so worthless. As time passes, I tend to cry easily and more often, even over trivial matters. I cry when I'm sad, when I'm delighted, when I'm angry, when I'm sick, when I'm in pain, when I'm disappointed, when I'm frustrated and th list goes on... 

As much as I want to control th tears, it just kept flowing. What more can I do? So I'll just let it flows to th point when there is no tears left and all I could do is to curl up on my bed and hug my teddy bear. In this life, I've nothing but regrets. And th amount of regrets that I have is something that I can never finish listing..

This just shows how weak I am. Yes, I admit I'm a weakling and a coward. I'm afraid of meeting setbacks/problems because I don't know how to deal with them (or rather not knowing anything) and that's why I prefer to cry my heart out. Guess this is my way of solving which is actually avoiding.

Really wonder how many people out there actually truly care for me. Or they're just curious about what had happened..I'm stupid, I can't differentiate who is really true to me or they're just being busybodies. I will take your concern seriously. And that's why my trust is being taken granted of.

And do yknow, I'm tired of pretending that I'm fine. Why do I always hear something related about you from other people. And when I say I really have no idea, I mean it. Because people tend to doubt me, giving me that 'How could you possibly not know' face. It actually hurts me a lot to know that I'm actually th one who's hurting other people unknowingly. Imma badass and a bitch. I'm sorry if I'm not being sensitive enough, but trust me, I don't mean it. I know I suck a lot. I'm not doing good enough.