Would you notice my existence if I'm gone someday.

I'm tired of faking a smile always. I'm tired of trying so hard to get things done and well but th results are always so disappointing. I'm tired of pleasing people. I'm tired of getting all th negative comments. I'm tired of getting my self-esteem low till th very bottom. Basically I'm tired of everything. Everything is suffocating me till I could no longer breathe. Homework, Exams, People etc. I'm always unhappy with myself, there's never a time when I would feel satisfied. Really hate myself for not being smart, for not being pretty, for not having a slim body and for not being able to meet up to people's expectations. Times when I feel like this, I really need a good cry and some time alone. It really helps me.

现在的我，也渐渐习惯一个人生活了，不必烦恼自己的言行举止会不会惹人讨厌，就是可以简简单单地做我自己。。。不必顾虑到其他人的感受。我会学着适应没有你的日子，一个人也会过得很好。。

But ohwell, I have my pretty ladies with me (: 4 years of guiding with them, they're always here for me. We support one another, encourage one another, go thru tears, laughter, scoldings and everything together in this 4 years <3 Honestly, I wouldn't know how guiding would b without them, it is them who completed my guiding journey . Really thank god for them. And I know we'll gonna part soon, in few months time.