Loneliness.

Not you, but also everybody else ):

I wish I had th courage to hold you back, but I failed. Simply bcos I am useless and I can't bring those words out of my mouth. Really wonder what was I thinking back then ? What do I really want ? Yes, I admit I do miss you at times, and get really pissed off seeing you together with them, but what can I do ? Nothing right, you meant (note: past tense) a lot to me, but now? More of like stranger or enemy I would say. I really shouldn't get affected too much, it's useless now. You lead your own life while I lead mine, I can see you're much more happier with them right ? Ohwell, I should stop thinking so much bout you. It's all over, it's all in th past :)

Stimes I really wish to pour everything out to somebody, who really cares bout me, listen to my every rants and can b trusted, but to think again, they've their own problems and I really do not wish to trouble them anymore, or even worst, to add on to their burden. I would rather keep everything to myself instead of seeing them vexing over th problems.

Yknow, I fear being alone, really. #lonelygirl.
Whenever I'm alone, I always don't have any sense of secure and I'm really afraid. For eg, th Halloween outing. We had alrdy decided but on th very last minute , I couldn't contact Person A and B and there were many cockup(s) in between, thus I chose to backout too. & what Person C said was right. I don't have th trust in them, fearing that they all might not go, which I was wrong. Just bcos of some sudden problems happened in between, I chose to backout instead of continuing with th plan.

People come and go as and when they like and I do hate it a lot, mainly is bcos I don't wish to lose them, for I fear th day when both of us bump onto each other, and all we would do is only to walk past each other instead of smiling at each other, or even having an eye contact.

Th feeling of being alone sucks a lot, you'll never know it till you experience it yourself.


I will b okay :)